Being a rebel is one thing. Being in love with a rebel is another. The second one might be an even more intense evolutionary challenge and somehow harder to experience than the first.
Who is a rebel?
A rebel is someone who breaks the rules, resists authority, or otherwise challenges the status quo by doing things in a nontraditional way.
Ok, this is the dictionary definition. Mine would be slightly different, maybe something more like this:
Being a rebel simply means becoming aware, responsible, and accountable for your actions concerning the whole and its interests, and not blindly following the very questionable moral rules we have created to manipulate and overpower each other for some reason.
The real job of a rebel is to properly discern and understand which rules and authorities are there to be 'broken' and which ones actually need to be protected.
And this is very hard to do. It takes a lot of experience and a lot of mistakes to know the real boundaries of what makes sense and what does not. What is there for a good reason and what is actually harming our collective soul in very deep ways for a very long time.
What kinds of traditions and rules are there to make us better and more kind human beings, and what are the structures and systems that are ultimately in our way to a more fulfilling and meaningful shared reality and human experience?
For a rebel, it's not about the safety or security of his/her personal life. It's about the meaning and coherence of the whole. A rebel will sacrifice his/her own comfort and stability for a strategic disobedience move to change the things that make his/her life uncomfortable or unsafe to start with.
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A brain of a rebel might be a bit confusing to observe for some, but it's actually very simple.
To understand what a rebel is about, you need to understand a very simple truth: a rebel is not moved (or stopped) by personal fears or insecurities of the corrupted mind. A rebel is put into any kind of movement or action with the energy and resources coming from deep values and core beliefs about Life itself, not the uncomfortable heavy emotions of the wounded or immature heart.
Usually, a rebel has some sort of convictions and intentions present more at the collective scale of things and reality than in the bubble of his own mundane life. This is why we might often consider rebels potentially dangerous or even crazy.
The kinds of structures and systems that rebels question are most likely bigger than themselves. It usually has a direct significant impact on others and their own personal lives. It might even have an impact on the entire system and its further development.
The rebel plays bold games by breaking some rules (or upsetting some 'authorities') in ways that might be a bit too scary, confusing, or uncomfortable for others.
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Rules and authority make us feel safe (and lazy).
It's comforting to know you have a 'boss' behind your back to take accountability for the deep nonsense of your actions and decisions you make at work.
You willingly give away the responsibility of your personal choices, values, and beliefs with a boring and immature excuse of:
'It's not my problem, my 'boss' wants me to do this, so I have no choice even if it makes zero logical or sensitive sense to me personally. If there is a problem with what I do, he goes to prison, not me. At least I can keep my job stability and its benefits by keeping my mouth shut and continuing to obey the system of complete nonsense. So, why would I even care or change anything?'
If you don't have a 'boss' or a 'system' that tells you what to do, you actually have no choice but to grow up and take ownership of your own shit.
When you have no higher authority other than your own inner values and experience, you have no choice but to see the real repercussions of your actions in our collective field of awareness.
And once you truly see how every single decision you make impacts the entirety of our shared reality, you will simply be forced by your own consciousness to take full responsibility for each single thought, emotion, and action you perform daily.
Your own inner guidance and wisdom will have more value and importance to you than what others believe you could or should be doing right now.
When you operate from this level of awareness consciously, you are a grown-up human being. You don't need the daddy (the 'boss') or the mommy (the 'system') anymore to provide you with rules for behaving well and tell you what to believe in.
This is actually the difference between an adult and a child.
A child needs external support to be reassured and guided on how to develop its being healthily and become a decent human in society.
An adult is supposed to already have the inner knowledge, morals, and experience to do the right thing without some weird rules made by other people.
An adult is supposed to have the personal discernment and courage to follow their own wisdom and take full responsibility for the entirety of their belief system and actions.
An adult understands that we are the co-creators of the system, not its slaves. An adult also understands that they are in a team and partnership with their boss, not their child that needs some kind of punishment or reward.
An adult co-creates the authority system and the rules in their life and in society that make sense to their inner guidance, logic, heart, and personal experience. They do not obey the existing, very messed-up system that makes no sense or is incoherent with their deeper values, desires, and intentions.
A child is a rebel by nature and the law of normal evolution. An adult is a rebel by conscious choice and the law of taking responsibility for your own shit.
A rebel co-creates. And a co-creator does not blindly and naively follow the 'system' or the 'boss' of any sort.
The co-creators collaborate with others to build a shared system and invent new rules that are more adapted and more coherent with what we actually need, want, and aspire to experience as humanity.
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We live in a very interesting paradox today.
We are scared to change the 'system' mainly because of our artificial personal fears of losing privileges or social benefits of some sort. We ultimately fear for our individual survival or losing our personal comfort.
But.
By continuing to do what we do now, we are also collectively co-creating a system that is literally set up to make us eventually lose everything we have now, including food, water, land, forests, freedom, power, and even our dignity.
We are paying the heavy price of our collective survival and further prosperity in our very questionable attempts to protect our individual rights (or fears) and our personal sense of illusory freedom (or imaginary independence from others).
A rebel does not have those kinds of fears or insecurities. A rebel usually thinks very big and wide. A rebel wants to ensure we survive as a whole and (if required) is usually willing to pay a very high price with their own life to make this happen.
A rebel understands clearly the systemic mathematics of our reality and why things are the way they are. A real rebel is not reckless or stupid. Rebels know exactly why and how they are playing with fire and will consciously (or unconsciously) continue doing it no matter what.
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So, back to the original theme of our contemplation for today. Being in love with a rebel, what does this imply and why is it so hard?
The more you love the rebel, the more the rebel might challenge the entire system of beliefs you have about your reality or potentially even yourself. The rebel will assess and sense the level of coherence and deeper meaning you have in your personal reality about what you believe in and what you do about it.
The rebel will show you one way or another your own deepest fears and reveal to you the clarity of how you have been lying to yourself until now.
This is why girls fall so often for 'bad boys.' It's not because they are more sexy or whatever. Rebels make young women evolve way faster and become more mature or responsible about their lives sooner.
Maybe girls are just smarter because they understand better that they actually need to experience life fully to know something real about themselves. And 'bad boys' usually show a young girl very fast the boundaries of her own personal power, how to master it, and how to coherently take it back from her unconstructive relationships.
Falling in love with a rebel is usually a very efficient strategy for faster personal evolution (if you know how to handle it properly).
Faster also means more intense. You need to have proper personal grounding, convictions, and self-confidence to know how to properly dance (or play) with the rebel without losing your own self.
You need to have a crystal clear clarity about who you are and what you actually want or aspire to experience next. If you don't have this inner understanding before engaging yourself with a rebel, no worries, the rebel will show this to you quite fast no matter what. But it might become more challenging for you to continue loving them simply and purely without being harshly and intensively triggered emotionally at the same time by who they truly are.
If you don't know why you are attracted or engaging yourself in any kind of relationship with a rebel yourself or what's in it for you, it might eventually become the most devastating experience of your life to truly experience falling in love with the proper rebel.
If you have no intent to question your preconceived beliefs, values, or judgments, you should probably run very fast and very far away from a rebel in your life. Appropriate self-confidence, strong grounding, emotional maturity, and willingness to be constantly challenged are potentially all mandatory to develop a healthy and nourishing relationship with a rebel over a long period of time.
No matter how much the rebel loves you, wants you, and respects you, who they truly are and what they believe in (or end up doing with their life) will still challenge you to the deepest parts of your soul.
Most rebels in their lives will face a very heart-breaking choice between their romantic love and their deepest convictions about something else. If their partner cannot manage to unconditionally accept their 'rebel' soul at some point, most will end up choosing their deeper convictions and actually sacrifice their love life.
It's not good or bad. It's soul-crushing and it's usually very complex and very deep as a process for the rebel's heart and mind. The choice between the love for another human being and their own bigger purpose or values in life is the biggest evolutionary challenge for the rebels themselves.
And this is potentially the only thing that can severely crush or destroy the rebel for real.
Many rebels will choose to not engage in love relationships anymore because of a very simple fear of deeply hurting the other person (or hurting themselves) if they are put again in front of this very painful and impossible choice: love for the other or love for the whole.
A rebel cannot easily make this kind of choice without breaking their own heart or potentially even losing their mind for a while.
If you love and feel the heart of a rebel that is going through something like this, it will be very intense and very confusing for you too. This is why you must have a lot of courage in your own heart to know how to love without trying to change anyone or anything.
A rebel cannot make you feel safer or more comfortable about yourself or your personal reality. This is something you need to know how to do yourself if you want to love a rebel without suffering.
But if you truly know where your own personal playground is and what your inner power is there, and you have the courage to let the rebel have fun in the sandbox of his or her choice by unconditionally trusting them, you might learn how to dance and how to play with the rebel the wildest fantasies and shared realities you can't potentially even dream of.
The depth of authentic experience of intimacy and the intensity of real transcendence of shared consciousness has a very clever price. Its price is the willingness to actually unconditionally love ourselves and others exactly as we already are even if it seems like the scariest or most unreasonable thing to do.
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