The human brain is amazing, wonderful, and very powerful. (And also completely stupid sometimes.)
I guess my soul, for some mysterious reason, decided to create serious emotional distortions in my psyche—maybe for fun or to make me a more humble and compassionate person.
The more I walk on the path of trauma integration, the more I discover deep mental programs that connect certain emotions in wild ways within my personal system.
Recently, I felt the presence of a profound inner fear. I was mind-blown and perplexed when I realized what it was truly about:
I am terrified of feeling intense joy.
But it's possibly also my favorite emotion to deeply feel in my body.
How is that even possible?
What could have happened to make my brain fear pure joy? What kind of messed-up conditioning did I swallow (or creatively self-program) to make me sabotage my own joy now?
Is this my family’s personal issue? Our culture and history? Or is it a shared conditioning among the majority of humans living on Earth today?
Maybe we all have a small, hidden fear of being completely devoured and totally consumed by pure joy.
Maybe we’re not yet ready to feel the true intensity of this frequency in our systems for some reason. Maybe it’s because we have no idea how to co-create a society where joy is actually welcomed, accepted, and wanted by most of us.
Joy is not serious.
Joy is not for adults.
Joy is about ignorance.
Joy is irresponsible.
Joy is too much.
Joy is intense.
Joy is scary.
Honestly, I might be projecting my inner world onto all of humanity right now, but I’m almost certain each of us has had one of these simple thoughts about joy at some point in life.
In some situations, some of these statements might be justifiable and even "true." But if any of these limiting beliefs seem like absolute truths to you, no matter what, you probably have some deep unresolved issues around being happy, too.
Welcome to the club! You are not alone! Apparently, we’re a large community of diverse beings, all attempting to learn how to feel more joyful and be happy in our daily lives.
And we’ve all been deeply messed up in the head by the corrupt "system" that made us believe joy must be earned, deserved, and paid for.
We made our joy dependent on the 'system'.
And we convinced ourselves that’s how it’s supposed to be. You need to work your ass off (or deeply corrupt your soul) to feel truly happy one day (maybe).
We’ve turned joy into merchandise and international business. Religion forbade us to feel joy. They said it might be a deadly sin to be too happy for no reason. Meanwhile, the economy was secretly selling it to us in many different forms and shapes.
No wonder we’re deeply scared of feeling joy now.
If you unconsciously believe you need to suffer to be happy, your path to authentic joy might be very interesting and potentially quite confusing indeed.
If you think you need to depend on and be enslaved to the existing "system" of nonsense even more to feel truly joyful, it’s quite normal to be scared.
If you think the price to pay for your joy and happiness is your own freedom, dignity, and health, it’s totally understandable that you have a maximum limit of how much joy you can take in your system.
If you think the currency to pay for happiness is your suffering, it makes sense to have a very planned and super tight budget for joy and pleasure in your life.
Or you might suffer so much in the process of being able to buy yourself some good-quality joy that you might not even know how to enjoy it when you actually have it. You might be old, sick, or even dead.
Or you might simply not know how to be authentically joyful in your body and heart anymore. You might be scared of joy and simple, free pleasures in life. So, even when you have it in your hands and in your lived reality, you don’t seem to let yourself feel it, share it, or even appreciate it for real.
...
Joy is an unlimited resource available in abundance (and for free) in our universe.
Earth is a very pleasurable and joyful place to be. Here, you can experience intense joy literally everywhere.
When you let yourself be immersed in pure joy, a simple sunset or sunrise can make you the happiest person on Earth. You can feel the rain on your cheeks and be drunk from the pleasure you feel in your body from that experience.
You can simply look into the eyes of another and see the entire magnificent universe inside, making your soul cry from the deepest sense of joy you feel in every cell of your body.
You can take, give, and regenerate an endless amount of joy around you, no matter where you are or who you are. It’s about your creativity and mental flexibility. It’s about understanding that your emotions are not directly related to money; they are mainly related to your inner conditioning and limiting beliefs in your mind.
No one cares how much money you have in your pockets. What matters is how much joy you can contribute to the system and how much of it you can receive in return for your own pleasure.
Money is a tool that’s supposed to help us co-create even more joy and pleasure in our lives—not be a prerequisite or a price to pay to be authentically happy.
Maybe if we were building a new economic model based on truly unlimited resources (like wisdom, as we’ve already discussed), joy and pleasure too could be very interesting candidates to base our global economic model upon. But not as consumer goods or services to sell—rather as resources and the actual expected outcome of a system. As a currency for meaningful transactions, not as merchandise.
Today, we don’t just sell joy packaged in fancy products and glittery useless stuff. We also sell you joy as a "new-age spiritual cult" these days. And this is really messed up in so many different ways.
You don’t pay for products or even services anymore. You pay for the special "guidance" from gods and the invisible space in another dimension, infused with divine joy, spiritual pleasure, and pure bliss.
And somehow, we seem to think it makes more sense than selling joy differently.
We harshly judge the industries that try to make people happy with products and services, but instead, we make them pay their money in the exact same way to give them the same joy—just in a more "invisible," spiritual, and intangible way.
We play the same messed-up game of economic corruption and abuse around our deep emotions and fears, but since it’s invisible and since it’s done by a proper "guru" with our made-up god’s approval, it’s all fine!
Paying a big corporation for joy and pleasure is immoral and irresponsible.
But paying your "guru," new age tantric temple of some sort, or the reconstruction of paradise itself on Earth to be able to feel some joy and pleasure seems perfectly fine and acceptable to you. You think it’s normal, and you actually participate in creating a new economic but very "woke" religion. Based on invisible reality (probably mainly made up in their own heads), with some interesting self-proclaimed prophets selling you the same thing, but just packaged a bit more creatively.
They sell you your own emotions. And you don’t even realize it.
Anyhow, back to the subject: The Fear of Joy.
If you think your joy depends more on the "system" and how big your house is than it does on the happiness of people around you and the quality of the environment you live in, you’ll most likely feel some deep fears about being authentically happy.
But if you realize that true joy is actually free, easy to access, and unlimited for real, you might comprehend why most of what you do at work is completely useless and meaningless.
You might then know for sure that there is actually no suffering required at all to be authentically and simply happy. You can be joy, you can eat joy, and you can co-create and share joy with others for as long as you wish.
Joy is pure.
Joy is healing.
Joy is innocent.
Joy is compassionate.
Joy is regenerating.
Joy is resourceful.
Joy is playful.
Joy is free.
Joy is fun.
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