Playing the role of the victim in the game of shared reality is a very interesting choice. Being a victim is potentially one of the most powerful positions in the relational triangle (persecutor-victim-savior).
Victims usually possess the most sophisticated and clever techniques for emotional manipulation and deep (often unintentional) brainwashing of their surroundings.
Victims are very dangerous, but they usually hide their inner cruelty very well from others. At least, at first they do. Once you stop playing the victim's game with them, they usually show you their real face very quickly too.
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If someone is currently living in a situation of some sort of abuse (or is in the healing process of any kind of abuse-related PTSD) and is (or was) clearly in the position of a victim that needs appropriate care, help, and support from others right now, this is a real victim. This person requires authentic help from others. I am not talking about those kinds of victims here.
We do need to help each other and take care of each other with love and compassion. We all go through tough times, we all fall 'asleep' from time to time, and we need to be mindful of being there for those who truly need us and whom we are able (and want) to support.
I am talking about the victim archetype that is currently not really in a disempowered position in life or experiencing any kind of personal abuse, but the person is actively embodying the characteristics and behaviors of a victim in the system for some reason.
This is a false victim that is mainly feeding itself from the collective energy field and creates a lot of mental and emotional distortions in our collective consciousness.
They don't usually need any help or support. They need a reality check to be reminded that they are actually not victims and be put in their authentic place of power and influence in our shared reality.
How can you easily distinguish the false victim from the real one?
To be fair, it's not always easy; some are really good at playing all kinds of roles, but there are some tendencies in behaviors that might give you a good hint.
A real victim very rarely speaks of being a victim. They will never show up that easily or share with us how exactly they are being abused right now. Finding the real victim in the system is actually really hard. A real victim will be silent and hiding very well from us.
Most of the time, you will discover either by pure mistake who is the real victim in a current situation, or you will understand it way later after the actual abuse happened.
The false victim will talk. They will react and they will be unsettled. They will talk with their body language and with their sometimes not very obvious but highly manipulative actions. They will ask for our pity without really asking for it. A false victim will create doubt and confusion in the system.
A false victim will use the system to be able to energetically feed itself from it, not to look for an actual solution to get out of that victimhood position. They will talk more about the suffering than about ways of dealing with that suffering.
A false victim actually uses the real victim's current situation in order to pursue its own agenda and personal empowerment. They literally use the suffering of other people as a pretext to increase their own value and self-importance.
False victims will usually try to pretend to play the role of the saviors in the system, but they will do it with a very interesting twist in the energy world that makes us believe they are the actual victims.
Their ways of showing their contribution or their inner intentions will be somehow emotionally confusing, but it would most likely make a lot of rational sense to us in the moment.
They will usually find themselves in the position of unexpected victimhood and somehow magically abused by those they tried 'to save,' and they will talk a lot about it to everyone.
False victims want to continue feeding themselves from the energies and powers of other people; they don't want to actually get out of the victimhood land. They are not ready to take responsibility and accountability for being systemic co-creators, not self-created victims.
Real victims are actually not interested in your power or energy. This is why they don't often share what they are actually going through. Real victims look for their own power. They know that only through authentic self-empowerment and access to one's inner source of power can they efficiently and safely get out of the situation where they are truly abused.
Real victims don't actually look for protection or for someone fixing their problems. This is why they very rarely will talk to you about their problems. They are not interested in your cheap emotional pity or energetic validation of their victimhood.
Real victims are interested in real business in the physical world. They don't talk endlessly about their emotions. They talk about concrete and efficient solutions to move forward and take back their own power from the situation they have found themselves in.
They don't ask for help, support, or understanding; they ask for empowerment, unconditional acceptance, and trust. They want to be seen and believed in, not saved or fixed.
False victims want to stop their inner suffering and they use their manipulative brain to make everyone else believe all kinds of stories to feel better about themselves.
Real victims actually know that their suffering is their golden ticket to their own inner power and healing. They will not share their suffering with you that easily. Because they know the real value of it for them and their personal empowerment.
They actually don't care about your validation or understanding, or your personal emotions about it. They know what they feel, how, where, and why. They don't need your approval of their victimhood. Your pity or your compassion is literally useless to them at that moment when they are actually being truly abused.
A real victim will not be interested in cooking more emotional soups together without having a clear and embodied strategy for actual change in the real physical world and our shared reality.
Real victims want logical, safe, and coherent solutions. They want their own power back. They want to act, not talk.
False victims want your emotional energy and validation. They want to have access to your power, not theirs. They want to talk, not act.
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Because we are very bad sometimes at distinguishing the real victims from the false in the system, we actually create even more power imbalances and incoherencies in our entire shared reality.
We continue to collectively ignore those who actually suffer for real. And we so naively are being manipulated by those who have learned so well to play the role of the false victim in our collective shared reality.
We give our powers and energies to those who are too lazy and immature to access their own.
And we somehow take even more power from those who actually try to empower themselves with their own inner strength and energy.
We unconsciously make the real victims believe they don't have the power to create a sustainable change in their lives. And we quite consciously give our own power away to the false victims by listening to their emotional confusion about the unfairness of life.
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