Unknown Needs

In theory, life is very simple.

If you find a way to coherently satisfy your basic needs for survival, physical and emotional safety, proper self-esteem, and personal empowerment, everything else should be straightforward, leading to a joyful and fulfilling life.

Satisfying our needs is not that difficult. Life is magical enough to make all our needs fully interdependent and interconnected. If everyone follows their passions and is honest about their actual needs, everything usually fits perfectly together.

What I mean is that when a person sincerely fulfills a need for someone else, it should ideally fulfill their own needs too. In a perfect scenario, there is a perfect match between needs, creating a win-win situation for each person and the whole.

You have a need. I have a need. Are our needs compatible at this moment to ensure we coherently serve each other and appropriately address our individual needs in a shared and collaborative manner? We mutually contribute to the well-being of our relationships and the whole by creating harmonious and compatible matches between our needs.

Very often, we find ourselves in situations where we feel it's our duty to fulfill the needs of people we love and care for. If a loved one is suffering, we feel compelled to make them 'better' or fix them, even if this is completely incompatible with our own needs and desires at that moment.

This is where we start saying things like, 'I only did this for you. I sacrificed my time, my energy, my whatever else to meet your needs.' If you exclude yourself from that equation and do things for 'them' more than for 'us' (which includes both them and you), you are actually creating more harm and relational distortions in the bigger scheme of things.

You are not helping if your way of providing help does not meet any of your own personal needs. You are actually being a clever 'Samaritan' archetype, with a very painful and manipulative form of psychic abuse on the person you think you are helping or serving.

If the action you do for the other does not give you more energy personally, you are probably doing it for the wrong reasons and are likely not a compatible fit to meet their current needs efficiently and coherently. You should probably just walk away.

If you can't identify what the person actually feels or needs, you should probably just keep your personal set of corrupted beliefs to yourself. If you can hear what the person truly needs and know you are not able to provide it, you could help them identify other possible resources and tools for support.

That being said, the person is the only one who knows the best strategy for them to meet their deep needs. Your job is not to impose a strategy that you think is right for them based on your limited perception. Your goal is to support them in exploring the possible options available for the safest and most coherent way for them to fulfill their own needs and desires.

No matter who you are and what you believe, you can never take away the power of choice and free will from the other. You can never know better than they do what they actually need and what is the most appropriate strategy for them.

You can create an appropriate context, space, and environment to help them identify their actual needs and the best strategy to meet them, but at no point can you impose your way of thinking or doing on the other.

Yes, you have unlimited power. And so does the other person. Even if you think you are an extraordinarily powerful psychic and visionary, you can never 'see' the universe of the other better than they can. Your arrogance and fears might think otherwise, but the truth is your level of awareness and consciousness is irrelevant when it comes to the feelings, needs, and strategies of someone else.

You can suggest and ask, but you cannot choose or impose something on the other if your genuine objective is to actually help or support them, and not to feed your own sense of self-importance or unconscious desire to overpower the other.

If you are doing something for the other but not fulfilling any of your own personal needs at the same time, you are not in a coherent or efficient scheme of mutual support and co-evolution. You are potentially just abusing yourself and making your contribution to the other's life very confusing and even meaningless in the long run.

You think you help the other by sacrificing yourself or your own needs, but the truth is you don't. You actually do very unhelpful things for yourself and the other. You become bitter and resentful for the lack of recognition and gratitude you receive in return from those you think you are helping.

This is where being selfish is actually very smart and the kindest thing you can do for the other. In some situations, being selfish is the most efficient and coherent strategy to help the other fulfill their own needs with the strategy that suits them best.

If you think you help only because you are a selfless and benevolent being capable of taking care of humanity's suffering just because you have a big pure heart, and doing this doesn't feed you, your ego, or your personal needs, you are in complete self-denial about yourself and how our shared reality works.

Your way of helping others will most likely become very painful for you personally, and the person you think you were helping will never see the value of your 'selfless' service because it will not be very helpful for them.

Selfless service is a complete illusion. Potentially, a very dangerous illusion.

If you don't fully understand what your personal ego gets in return from 'helping' someone, you are not in coherence with the law of nature and how systemic interdependence works. Nature doesn't give just to give. Nature shares with specific purposes and intentions. Nature is highly egoistic in its way of doing 'business' and in its exchange strategy of resources and energy between different beings. It's about efficiency and holistic symbiosis, not about selfless giving.

Nature has clarity about its needs and knows the most creative strategy to satisfy those needs coherently with the entire macro system. It masters the real win-win-win principle.

The problem with humans is that they often have no idea what their actual needs are and why they do the things they do.

It's the problem of unknown needs.

Even when we don't know the real reason for doing something, we are still answering our deep needs and desires, but we are completely unconscious about them. This could potentially create many emotional distortions and mental confusions in our relationships.

When we entangle with each other based on our unknown needs, we co-write very creative karmic contracts. Some of these contracts can get very wild and interesting if we have invested too much energy into satisfying our deep needs and desires in deeply unconscious ways through our relationships with other people.

No matter what you do and why, always ask yourself the question, 'What is in it for me?' How do I personally benefit or feed my ego by providing a 'selfless' service to someone?

The more clarity you have on what you actually get in return by fulfilling someone else's need, the more you will understand that no one truly requires any selfless service or any kind of sacrifice from you.

Nature is based on the concept of coherent and efficient sharing and giving, not self-sacrificing or unselfish service.