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When I was in daycare, I was a bit of a 'strange' child, and I had trouble finding fun in playing with dolls. So, my educator had to invent new activities to connect with me and to entertain me. What I liked the most was playing with mathematics and doing theater. Both have remained throughout my life and have evolved in various ways.

As a child, mathematics for me was simply magical. It was the simplest and most direct way to understand my reality and integrate my environment. It's stripped of form and any emotionally confusing charge. It just exists and that's it. It's beautiful and it's logical. That's all.

And, Art quickly became for me the most elegant way to make mathematics dance and express them in all their possibilities. It's a bit like if mathematics were the pencil with which I made my basic drawing and art was the paint, the colors, the texture, the depth that I could give to my drawing to make it more captivating.

So, from the age of 7, I received a dual education. One in a 'normal' school and one in the art school. This path was very nourishing for me and allowed me to literally explore all the possibilities and impossibilities of the different perceptions of the world that one can have and develop. At the age of 10, I started to become interested in physics. It became my second favorite subject after math in 'normal' school. Physics added a whole new dimension to my exploration of reality and the world. There, I could learn how to set my drawing in motion and make it real. I could now make my mathematics not only more captivating, but also alive.

So, there I had the opportunity to have fun with all 3 facets of creation simultaneously: imagination, coherent structure, and dynamic movement at the same time. And, the real pleasure of living and creating life was just beginning for me from there!

To be honest, not so long. The further I went in my journey, the more my teachers in 'normal' school began to find my way of living and learning a bit too 'creative' and deviating quite a bit from the pre-established school curriculum, which made managing their daily lives a bit 'complicated' with me in their class.

And, quite quickly, at the age of 10, I started playing hooky, because I understood very well that Life had much more to teach me than the teachers who talk to me about mathematics that I simply already understand in the depth of my physical body and potentially even better than them.

Instead of going to school, I had a very busy 'alternative' education program. All these 'extracurricular' adventures allowed me to experience the world and see how everything the teachers talk about manifests for real in the real world, in everyday life, on the street, in the forest, in humans and even inside myself. When I grew up, I had no idea what I wanted to be. In fact, I think I already knew that what I wanted to be didn't exist yet as a professional title. And that suited me just fine.

At the age of 14, I moved to Quebec. When it was time to apply to college, I wanted to go into architecture. But, my school counselor kind of forced me to go into natural sciences. "With a report card like yours, it's just stupid not to make sure you have all the doors open when you're ready to apply to university and the only program that allows you to do that is the natural sciences!" she said quite naturally and simply.

I don't think I really understood the extent of this choice, but I listened to her. And I was finally thrilled. I had it all: math/physics/chemistry/biology and all the other sciences of Life in the same package. And, the total freedom of a young college student as artistic as 'nerdy' at heart who could experience life as she wanted too.

When it came time to decide what to do next, I applied to both programs at university. A bachelor's degree in mathematics and a bachelor's degree in mechanical engineering. I finally chose the latter. And, I was happy about that too. I could study at university where I could have fun with both, mathematics quite geeky and physics quite diversified, and with multiple possible applications. And besides, it seems that engineers make science concrete and useful for people, they change the world or something. Well. Ok. Let's try.

I loved my university years which were filled with science that excited me (for real) at school and learning how to live outside of it. When I graduated and became an Engineer, in my head, I already had everything I needed to change the world and have a very exciting and stimulating life. But, apparently it's not that easy when you become an adult.

Before starting my first 'real' job, I went to Asia to discover a little more of the world on the other side of the earth and wander around the corners of lost countries. During this trip, my entire reality and perception of the world were transformed. In fact, this journey continues to initiate me even today. Even though I had already been on the street with nothing in my pockets and no idea where I was going next, it was the first time I had seen with my own eyes what real poverty means. Even though I already had a deep connection with Nature, it was the first time I felt in the depth of my body the pain of dying ecosystems.

That's where I saw all the concepts I had learned up to now theoretically playing out in real life. Raw and naked. Globalization, obsolescence, manipulation, marketing, sustainable development, progress, the economy... well, the list goes on and on. And that's where I understood what it means to be in symbiosis (or not) with nature and humanity.

I will never forget that moment, lost in the streets of Myanmar, right in the middle of everything going upside down in this world, I took a moment to look into the eyes of the people passing by me. And there, it's as if lightning struck me right in the middle of my forehead. Wait a second. But, in fact, they are happy here. I don't understand. It doesn't make sense. They live in conditions that have turned me upside down for a few weeks. I, I am really pissed off against the whole system for them, I am in pain and I suffer right now for their culture and for their land.

But there, in their eyes, I see real JOY. I have never seen the quality of this look in the streets of Montreal. I was disturbed, stunned and now, very curious. This particular questioning opened some doors a little more 'mystical' on my journey and ultimately made my love for science even more mysterious and even strange at times. Gradually during this trip, I began to understand that the profession I had chosen could not save the world, because in fact, it seems to be the root of our current global issues.

Fuck, I got screwed!  I'm part of the problem, not the solution with this shitty education. And there, with my high education diploma in my pocket and $75,000 in student debt, I am sitting on a beach on a lost island in Thailand and I am deeply ashamed to be an engineer. I haven't even started working yet and I'm already disgusted with technology, the economy, the job market and... the whole system. And at this point, I don't know if I should laugh or cry.

Upon my return to Montreal, things slowly fell into place. I never worked as a 'normal' engineer, but I started to build my career in innovation, interconnected network creation, technology and sustainable development. I quickly fell in love with my work. I was surrounded and I had the chance to co-create with brilliant and inspiring people. I traveled the world in every possible direction and I really felt like I was on my X on a lot of things in my life.

And there the real game with the 'system' began for me. It became very interesting and more and more complex. I was totally into it. It also became more and more violent, stressful and demanding. But hey. 'Work hard, Play hard(er)', as they say. The more we interact with the system at deep levels, the more we face games and power dynamics that are simply inhumane. We use the 'system' as an excuse for atrocities we commit to the planet, living beings, ourselves and our children. And this excuse seems sufficient for many of us to continue doing things that literally make no sense and that destroy creation itself.

In short, I ended up going back to school to do a 'inter-university' and 'multidisciplinary' graduate program in strategic eco-design in an attempt to better understand why the world is so incomprehensible and what we can do with it from now on. I tried. I tried many things. At several levels with more than enough diversity of tools. And yet. I also ended up with environmental depression, an acute allergy to the existing 'system' and 2 professional burnouts in my backpack of experience. All in 5 years of very promising and fascinating career. At least, from the outside.

 It was quite a period filled with quite rock & roll ups and downs. Whew. What a ride! Thanks, but no, I've had enough. I'll go over there instead. I'm not sure where yet, but I don't want to play this game with you anymore. Your thing is not fun actually and it really hurts people and besides it's bullshit that you have the well-being of our planet and our children in your intentions. Your actions say otherwise! OK, bye and see you next time (or not)!

…

And that's how the SYSTEM CREATION project was conceived in my mind. Now, I needed to create my own game that made sense to me and was consistent with who I am and the values I hold.

The first year was a bit like carrying a baby. I couldn't do much in form. It was an idea. Very clear inside me, I knew it was THAT, but I hadn't yet learned the language to be able to talk about it, observe it, and interact with it outside of me. This project seed that I felt in my heart needed to germinate, incubate, connect with my roots and feed on the forces of nature before coming out of the ground and growing on its own. I also needed to regenerate from my second burnout and pick up the pieces of my consciousness a bit lost in quite a few different space-times before embarking on a new professional adventure.

So, this project develops at a slowness that is not familiar to me and that takes me out of my comfort zone with my natural impulses to start DOING things there, right now. We're learning to dance together more synchronously. It's cool, it's part of the 'game'. I realize more and more that this project has already been in me from the beginning. And that everything I have experienced to date was part of my Life education to bring me here.

The whole journey up to now, as turbulent and bizarre as it may seem, has brought me to 'shovel these kinds of clouds' now. It allowed me to finally do what I am passionate about for real and realize my childhood dream to play my favorite games when I want, with whom I want, and how I want. But, it's never that easy. When you change games, the game itself also evolves. And, we have to learn to play again. And now, I see better that this is not a project like the others. This one has its own rhythm. This one is initiating me in a way I don't know yet. It is connected to nature and the cycles of things in its own way. In a way that makes me work quite a bit on my own personal system, my beliefs, my conditioning, and even my way of doing business!

It is much more aligned with a version of coherence and harmony that clearly exceeded the tools, standards, and practices that I have learned up to now. Strategic planning, budget management, marketing, customer relations, administration, and all the business stuff of a startup project take on a much more intuitive and much more uncomfortable form for me. But, this process is quite fascinating and 'tasty' so far.