Power & Love

We cannot truly grasp and experience the depth of our love for each other unless we maintain the frequency of our shared power within our individual systems. This holds true in family, friendships, romantic relationships, and extends significantly to interactions with co-workers, organizations, and networks – encompassing any form of co-creation or relationship.

If you've been following my reflections, you've likely noticed my fondness for using the dancing metaphor to contemplate various aspects of life.

The dance of Love & Power is not only one of the most fascinating but arguably the most crucial concepts to understand on our journey toward collectively manifesting a coherent and harmonious co-creation of our shared reality.

Love without Power fails to create anything new and eventually dissipates into the void of nothingness.

Conversely, Power without Love is meaningless and ultimately self-destroying.

The scope of the premise underscores the intensity and profundity of this dancing duo. The interconnection between these two elements is transcendental across all levels of our existence.

Hence, I am confident that each of us grapples with challenges while navigating this dance in our personal and professional lives. Finding the right rhythm, tempo, and harmony between these elements constitutes an interesting and potentially intense journey for some.

This isn't a basic introduction to personal development; it delves into serious and powerful concepts that demand awareness, presence, personal self-practice, and contemplation. It's a long and fascinating journey requiring compassion and time for integration and digestion, rather than a quick fix or a magic wand.

I aim to explore the nuances of the dynamics of the Love and Power dancing duo within the deep spaces of my personal experiences in intimate relationships and within systems. Additionally, this could be considered as Chapter 2 of a topic I touched upon last year in one of my reflections titled "Heart Leadership."

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Now, how do we embark on this exploration?

Let's attempt to simplify complex concepts into forms and shapes initially.

Imagine two circles – one yellow and one blue – coexisting in the field of nothingness. Picture the surface of each circle capable of expanding and contracting, influenced by the space they inhabit. This fluctuation occurs continuously in the shared space, regardless of our desires.

For instance, if the blue circle resides in space Y, it has a very large surface, but in space Z, it shrinks. The properties and qualities of the specific space (or surroundings / environment or the 'matrix') impact the behavior of the circle, and interestingly, its interaction with other shapes in the vicinity – chilling with triangles increases volume, but with squares, it shrinks. This could be another example of how it works.

If a circle wishes to be 1 km large or 1 mm, it can. If the circle is wise enough to observe and understand the relationships between its inner properties and exterior decorations, it can expand or contract almost at will. The 'almost' is crucial because you cannot control the entire field; the 'exterior' reality will always be one step ahead. No matter what, it's always a co-creation with all its beauty, magic, complexity, and uncertainty.

The mastery of this concept of 'almost' will define the quality and coherence of our shared reality. The 'almost' will always remain... just an 'almost'.

You will never be exactly on the point, and that is the essence of the mystery and evolution. The closer you get to The Point, the more unstable and unpredictable the entire system becomes, and you have less control, even over yourself.

(Geek tip: this is called the Bifurcation Point in the Chaos theories if you want to go deeper into the science aspect of it.)

This is where you lose it all and have no choice but to surrender to the Unknown.

But, that's a topic for another exploration.

Let's go back to our circles.

The blue circle chills with the yellow circle, and they decide to co-create something new.

"Let's do a green circle together," says one of them. "Oh, what an interesting idea. Let's... But what is 'green'? I have never seen one. How will we know when we get there? And also, how do we know the recipe and the formula to create a green circle if we don't even know what 'green' means?"

"Hm. You are right. It seems like a tricky problem. But, hey, this is what is pleasurable about it, no? This is what we call innovation and co-creation, I think.

We can obviously make more yellow and blue circles because we already know how to do that, but where is the actual fun in repeating the same process over and over? Wouldn't it be boring to chill for endless times only with blue and yellow circles? Maybe let's try to invent a new one. Let's try different things, create endless shades of green, and decide what emerges for us from that process."

"Ok. I like that idea. Let's do that. But, to be honest, I kind of feel very excited and also terrified of the unknown at the same time to do something we have never done before."

"I guess it's normal. Me too, to be completely fair. But, hey, we are in this together. And look around. We are in the endless field of Love anyways. So, what should we be scared about? If we take care of each other and work together in a harmonious way, I am sure we can face our fears and enjoy our excitements to the max in this super magic process of cocreation."

"You're right. I feel more reassured now. Thank you. But, there is another aspect that I am now wondering about.

What if we have so much fun in the process of our co-creation that we actually forget what we are trying to accomplish here? What if we completely forget about our intention of a green circle and end up co-creating a bunch of red triangles and other weird shapes?"

"Hm. I don't know, to be honest. This is the actual risk of co-creation, no matter what. But, at the same time, we have been here for a while. We also know how to deal with this kind of stuff. And, after co-creating together since the time was not even a thing yet, I also trust that together we can deal with everything and remind each other of our original intention."

"Yes. So, even when one of us forgets, it's okay because we trust that the other will remind us somehow."

"Exactly."

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I am not entirely sure if you see where I am going with this very primitive cartoon story, but stick with me for a minute. Now I will try to build some links between this and my Power & Love dancing concept and co-creation.

So, as you know, to create something green, we need a bit of blue and a bit of yellow. Too much blue, little yellow is not green; it's turquoise. Too much yellow, too little blue is also not green; it's lime-ish.

But how do we get to the perfect shade of green we would like to see and experience in our shared reality?

We need to play with the different percentages of how much blue and how much yellow we need.

In most cases, the egalitarian approach is not the one. If you put 50% yellow and 50% blue, the chances that the green you want is this one are almost zero! You will probably need to do a couple of tests and errors to get to the perfect mix.

So, in order to co-create a desirable green circle, both blue and yellow need to give up a part of themselves, of their true colors. They might not know the exact 'quantity' required yet, but they both understand that the result is interdependent on how much each one of them gives of their essence to the collective project.

How do they know when they arrive at the desirable color of green that matches their original intention?

The honest response is they will never know.

But, to have some guidance and clarity in the processes, the only way to know and to get closer to their original intention is to actually talk and communicate together about their individual and shared experiences after each iteration of the co-creation process.

This deep sharing space and transparent communication will help them gain more clarity on the process and make the next iteration of co-creation more coherent, efficient, and meaningful.

This is the simple essence of the shared power dynamics and cocreation process.

Now.

One of the cute aspects of that dialogue was when the circles were talking about their fears of creating red triangles.

It's a fair and totally unreasonable fear.

Because two circles cannot create a triangle. And you cannot make red, no matter how much mixology you do with blue and yellow.

It's just impossible in terms of how this reality is constructed and how it works.

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Obviously, in real life, it's way more complicated, complex, and messy. Because we are not unicolor circles; we are multidimensional infinite-rainbow shades macro- systemic Beings that can manipulate many different shapes, colors, sounds, frequencies and textures simultaneously.

This is why co-creation between people is way more complex and rare than with machines...

So, you might not directly see how all of this applies to your project, organization, or community, but I promise that at some point, you will understand that under any complex system, there is the pure simplicity of co-creation that actually starts with randomly colored circles dancing together.

To have real fun with a complex shared reality, we need to master the simplicity of our co-existence and co-evolution first!

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Another interesting moment was when the circles were talking about their fear of forgetting.

This is actually a very important aspect of why we don't co-create to our full potential. Because if the process of co-creation, like we saw earlier, requires both blue and yellow to give a part of themselves to make something green. When we give a part of ourselves, we become vulnerable. We actually decrease our Power!

And we might more easily forget if we lose too much of that power.

Our desire to co-create something new we both want requires us to give our power away to the green circle.

It's not a sacrifice. This is what we call Love as well. It's an act of offering and sharing wisely our Power to create even more Love.

But Trust is a key element to make this entire process enjoyable, efficient, and coherent.

Why, you might wonder.

Because imagine, in one of the iterations, yellow, for some reason, gave up 90% of its power to the co-creation, and the blue gave 10%. What is happening now?

Look at the proportions where the power is now.

Yellow is = 0.1 Blue is = 0.9 Green is = 1

How would it look in terms of equity, equality, and various aspects of power dynamics?

Imagine a board meeting, where there is power distribution during a decision process like this? How is this fair? Or equal or egalitarian?

The truth is it's not. It's probably illegal too. But, the truth is also that to get to their authentic intention of co-creation, they will often find themselves in unfairly distributed power positions. And that is where Trust is required.

Because when we don't trust, we withhold our power. When we withhold the power and refuse to offer some of it to the co-creation process, we don't give anything of ourselves to create more love with our power.

So, we might remain in power, but the final co-creation will have no presence of our colors and our essence inside.

And this is exactly where and why we start feeling as if we don't resonate with our exterior reality, we are not loved, or that we don't belong here.

We look for home in the places where we have contributed nothing to make it deeply interconnected and intimate with us, where we have not contributed with our power to create the frequency of love we want around us.

We cannot feel at home in a place we have not co-created for ourselves.

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Anyways, I am realizing that it is actually going quite deep and probably requires a few episodes of my unfolding Co-creation 101 Netflix series for a more extended period of time.

So, maybe we'll play with simple unicolor circles for now, and we'll see where this brings us next.

To be continued.