Conscious Chaos of Deep Waters

Air getting in my wide lungs

Infused with exotic toxins

With burning molecules

Of the unknown atoms

Why do I keep doing it

What is hidden wisdom

Of such stupid actions

What am I trying to do

What are my limiting beliefs

Where the ‘’bug’’ is flourishing

In my deep self-programming

About this specific subject

The open network of relationships

With access to the raw intelligence

Of how our nature transforms itself

And how she plays with our culture

There is a reason why and how

Tobacco wisdom has become

So popular to be consumed

By smoking it everywhere

There is a reason why and how

It's one of the most powerful

Addictions to be dealing with

In a conscious, simple manner

There is a reason why and how

It's a never-ending opinion war

What is good and what is bad

This fluidity of our judgements

There is a reason why and how

This sacred plant has become

The mastermind of corruption

Pro of manipulative marketing

We used it for ages to build

The foundations of "science"

Of how to play with beliefs

How to influence the masses

We proved how easy it is

To make people convinced

Of any bullshit we would like

About their happiness, health

Tobacco advertisements

Were the best initial kind

Of efficient propaganda

The strategy of influence

This is where I truly learned

That surrender has two faces

One that diminishes us, judges

One that expands us completely

Tobacco taught me to surrender

To forces that protect my wisdom   

But there's certainly another path

To master the power of defenses

What if those same mechanisms

That pulls me toward obliteration

Could push me toward emergence

Into unknown that births my dreams

It's a very complex system

It's natural and it's social

It's personal and global

It's inner and it's outer

It's modern and it's ancient

It's intimate and collective

It's so pleasurably relaxing

While it creates more stress

It's a mysterious paradox

Of the forbidden desires

Walking on the raw edges

Of transcendent dangers

Those invisible boundaries

Between myself and them

Between them and world

Between world and whole

The doors of interdependence

Of ultimate interconnections

Between everything there is

In any form, state or situation

The mechanics of systems

The dynamics of networks

The nature-culture bonding

To ensure our proper survival

Survival has many expressions

It's not only about the physical

It's also about social, cultural

Or psychological, ancestral

Many are ready to die

In the name of honor

To protect something

To save those they love

Sometimes core mental beliefs

Become stronger than biology

Conviction overrides instincts

Judgement wins over desires

This eternal sensual tension

Between nature and culture

Between our mind and body

Between our past and future

What is authentic emergence

If not unknown, unpredictable

Creation always blooms from

The pure chaos entering void  

But don't be a naive fool here

Don't you dare to judge chaos

The wisdom of new coherence

The deeper meaning of pattern

Chaos is not random destruction

It's pregnant with infinite possibility

Every moment of authentic confusion

Contains seeds of breakthrough waiting

It’s like in your consciousness right now

The thought is emerging from nowhere

You don't create or plan your next idea

It simply appears in shared awareness

Like waves forming on deep ocean

Without permission or scheduling

The mind generates raw insights

From depths you cannot fathom

Watch how addiction emerged

Not through conscious decision

But through unconscious patterns

Crystallizing into simple compulsion

Watch how transformation emerges

Not through exercising willpower only

But through subtle mysterious shifts

In the field of our interconnectedness

All radical innovations come from

Huge void of unlimited potentials

When you play at this level, scope

You should be ready for surprises

Be ready for the ironic moment when

Everything you thought you believed

Dissolves into very fertile paradoxes

For something new to start swirling

Be ready for insights that can shatter

Your carefully constructed worldview

Be ready for solutions that can appear

From directions you are not expecting

You cannot predict emergence

You cannot control total chaos

You cannot plan for innovation

You cannot strategize creation

But emergence is always happening

In every cell of your physical body

In every breath you take inside

In every word that gets out

Your heartbeat emerges renewed

From the silence between beats

Your dreams emerge each night

From unconscious hidden depth

Even this poem is emerging

As I write these very words

I don't know what comes next

Until it appears on my white page

This paradox is so profound:

How do you even collaborate

With something uncontrollable

How do you partner with mystery

The secret is in knowing to properly discern  

Between healthy and unhealthy emergence

Some emergence expands your possibilities

Some emergence contracts them even more

Healthy emergence feels like

Opening into broader space

Like becoming more yourself

Like touching your true power

Unhealthy emergence feels more like

Closing into restricted or same loops

Like becoming less of who you are

Like losing your authentic agency

Addiction emerges unhealthily

Through patterns that diminish

Creating false transcendence

That ultimately could imprison

But breakthrough emerges healthily

Through deep patterns that expand

Creating authentic transformations

That ultimately liberates with power

The difference is not in the chaos

But in how you emerge from there

Not in the scary unpredictability

But in how you can dance with it

However, you can establish conditions

That encourage healthy emergence

Like a gardener who cannot really

Make plants grow but can help them

Prepare fertile soil

Provide adequate water

Remove competing weeds

And simply trust the life force

There are some things you can do

Some concepts you could grasp

For some exquisite understanding

To better prepare your mind to shift

You can learn to recognize, to feel

The real difference between chaos

That leads to creative breakthrough

And chaos that invites to breakdown

You can learn to sense when

The field is ripe for innovation

When the moment is pregnant

With transformative potential

You can learn to surrender fully

To emergence that serves life

While resisting ego drives

That serves destruction

You can learn the subtle art

Of conscious collaboration

With uncontrollable forces

That shape the reality itself

This is the deepest wisdom:

Not to control emergence

But to align with the kinds

Of emergence that evolve us

To become truly skilled sailors

On the ocean of pure, wild chaos

Reading the subtle or invisible signs

Of which way the creative winds blow

To develop the discernment

Between currents that carry you

Toward expanded eternal aliveness

And currents that carry you elsewhere  

This is what the surfer knows

This is what the innovator feels

This is what the recovered addict

Learns through trial, fails and error

That emergence is always emerging

Whether we participate consciously

Or get swept along unconsciously

By forces we don't yet understand

But now you need to learn, master

How to collaborate with creation

This is the funniest game of all

Your crazy soul has invented

And there's a place where this game

Becomes perfectly visible, clear

Where collaboration with chaos

Takes the form of dance with water

Where you can practice everything

We've been talking about

In your actual body

On actual waves

How do you become a master now

When your collaborating cocreator

Is the embodiment of chaos itself

The power of the ultimate creation

Being an innovator is a hard choice

It's the foolishness of the ambition

It's the courage, boldness, audacity 

The madness of creating the change

The brain of authentic wild innovators

Doesn't seem to work in the same way

They see our reality as something else

Something that should be played with

They already know they can shape it

In many variations and possibilities

They know they don't control much

But they trust the emergent chaos

They know how to surf on those waves

They are not scared to dive if required

They get what true state of flow means

How to become one with dancing water

How to be in a state of skillful control

Where you are mastering your body

But all your movements are imposed

By the raw dynamics of chaotic waters

Water becomes your dance floor

It becomes the background music

It's your invisible dancing partner

It guides; it tells you how to move

In surf, your life literally depends

On your capacity to become one

With the waters you can't control

By surrendering yourself to wave

If you think you can control

The will power of the ocean

You will die like a stupid fool

While surfing in open waters

Water will never obey you

When you are surrounded

When you are in her home

When you play her games

She is the guiding master there

She is the ultimate sea goddess

If you choose to enter her temple

You should respect her wisdom

She is not interested in you dying

But she also doesn't care if you do

She dictates the rules of potential play

And you pick the level of game you desire

You are the ultimate power of decision

On the risks and on the opportunities

Of the pleasures you want to receive

From making love to intense waters

The more intimate you become with waves

More freedom you can claim in your movement

Your entire game becomes excitingly dangerous

With precision, much deeper, more orgasmic

You have no choice but to feel in safety

In the arms of waters that might kill you

Your body must become a part of hers

If you want to have any real fun surfing

And in this moment of complete surrender

To the creative intelligence of water holding

You can glimpse into something mysterious    

About how all our power games are working

The ocean becomes your teacher

About forces that seem destructive

While revealing such silly mysteries

About the true nature of power itself

Under normal conditions and environment

Water usually serves to destroy intense fires

It's one of the very hard laws of our physics

Where the sun is weaker than the moon

Contemplate this sometimes

To glimpse the deeper meaning

Of why nature operates this way

How power is truly distributed

Water is the full embodiment

Of ultimate interdependence

And this kind of power in action

Wins over flames of destruction

Because this interconnected field

Maintains all life forms everywhere

This is a kind and level of systems

That cannot really be overpowered  

When a system is macro to the point

Of including everything that is alive

Of being able to exchange and process

The endless web of always changing data

This kind of wide system has unlimited power

This kind of power is invincible no matter what

This system does not care to become nothing

To disintegrate itself into elementary particles

Because this kind of system has the memory

And with this kind of systemic memory inside

You can recreate again whatever you wish for

At any speed, in any place, directly from itself

Water is more magical, clever than fire

Fire can indeed make things disappear

But water can create in the empty void 

Entire ecosystems of complex life forms

Water can nourish and regenerate

She can heal and she can rejuvenate

Water can be programmed with codes

To give life to what we dare to believe in 

And water can also destroy our civilizations

She can sweep clean easily most of the cities

She can arrange a rude cycle of its movement

That will ensure humans honor her dear nature

Even your own body is made mainly of water,

You might be surprised to realize how much

This makes you deeply, fully interconnected

With everything else in our shared existence

Water can be used to communicate

It can be used to encode information

To create energy or to transfer power

Water is a flexibly versatile molecule

Water is used to expand life more

Water is used to clean and purify

Water is used to control the flow

Water is almost like dark matter

Water can curve rigid structures

Water can pass through any hole

Water is present in all the stages

Under viable external conditions

We all have the experience of water

Being solid, liquid or more like vapor

We know exactly the physics behind

And how to create easily each stage

Water made us believe, corrupted us

Into making us believe we have control 

The ultimate authority over her behavior

If we can master simple thermodynamics

But water is way smarter than usual physics

She is still a mystery to our modern science

We don't yet understand everything about it

We still wonder about many how, what, why

In short, don't be arrogant with water

Even if your fire is coming from stars

Even if you fight with next-level lasers

Even if you have nuclear level of power

But here lies the deepest wild secret

The ultimate relativistic truth of void  

That shatters all our fixed categories

All our certainties about what is what

There is no absolute poison

There is no absolute medicine

There is no inherent good or evil

In any substance, any experience

Tobacco could be sacred communion

Or industrial grade of mass corruption

The same plant, the same molecules

But entirely different realities, systems

It all depends on the consciousness

You bring to the intimate relationship

The quality of your inner conditioning

The level of your embodied awareness

Your beliefs become the programming

That shapes subtle molecular behavior

Your intentions become the frequency

That determines how it is transformed

Nature has laws, yes, but consciousness

Plays with those laws super creatively

Shared reality becomes participatory

When awareness meets roots of matter

The same particle that kills in unconsciousness

Could guide in sacred ritual of our emergence

The same water that drowns the ignorant fools

Could resurrect the conscious fire of the master

The same chaos that creates addiction

Could create radical innovation to heal

The same surrender that imprisons soul

Could liberate entire system completely

The difference is never in the substance

The difference is never in the experience

The difference is always in innate quality

Of the consciousness engaging, creating

This is why judgment is so limited

Why opinions wars might never end

Why good and bad keep shifting poles

In the fluid dance of simple perspectives

What serves you today might harm tomorrow

What harmed you then might serve now

What seems like medicine to me

Might be poisonous to you

Reality is co-creative and collaborative

Between consciousness and matter

Between belief and manifestation

Between intention and outcome

Ultimately, the tobacco taught me this lesson:

That I am not separate from what I consume

That my inner state determines the effects

What any experience becomes and how

That health is not about avoiding

All the substances judged "wrong"

But about cultivating the awareness

To engage consciously with everything

That freedom is not about control

Over external circumstances or fears

But about the willingness to fully assume

The complete responsibility for our choices

This is the raw water wisdom speaking:

Everything penetrates through everything

And how it flows inside you depends entirely

On the consciousness through which it moves

And now I understand a bit better

Why I kept reaching for that fire

I was trying to touch the water

Through the wrong doorways

I was seeking the total surrender

That connects me to everything

But I was practicing it foolishly

With forces that disconnect me

The abuse to self was never the answer

It was a misdirected external question

About how to cocreate with something

Larger than the self-perceived essence

But now I know there are other yummy ways

To practice the art of letting go with pleasure  

Ways that don't diminish my inner capacity

For authentic transcendence of my beliefs

Water has been teaching me in wild wonders

That the same impulse that creates addiction

Can create breakthrough in better navigation  

If I learn to surf different waves of pleasures

The lungs that learned to crave connections

Can learn to breathe inside interconnection

The hands that reached for external strategy

Can learn to form life from the inner beauty

And maybe that's the deeper wisdom

Hidden in all our stupidly naive actions

We're always seeking the right method

Just through the corrupted doorways

Until we learn to distinguish

Between forces that contract us

And forces that expand us deeply wider

Between fire that burns and water that flows

Between surrender that makes us smaller

And surrender that makes us unlimited  

Between addiction to what destroys

And devotion to what can create

Everything flows through everything else

In endless fields of wild interconnections

And we choose which currents to swim in

Which forces deserve our precious power

Here, now, in this very breathing

I feel the ocean dancing in my bones

The same water that shaped curves of land

Flowing through my small, yet boundless body

And I remember: I am not isolated

From the forces I've been fearing

I am not fighting my own essence

I am simply learning how to read it

The choice is always in this moment

Between the ego trip and the wave

Between the fire that consumes

And the water that empowers

My hands can reach for distraction

Or open to receive the rain of bliss

My lungs can fill with complexities

Or drink the morning air like nectar

This is the practice of simple existence:

Moment by moment, breath by breath

Choosing which dream, which desire

To let my life flourish into embodiment  

And the ocean keeps teaching us

With infinite patience, with fun

How to flow toward further life

How to trust the deeper current

How to be authentic power of water

In a world obsessed with intense fire

How to surrender in divine pleasures

To forces that make us whole inside

Everything is hidden inside everything else

In endless fractals of sublime correlations

And we choose which darkness to dive in

Where to seed light for desired devotion

Now I feel the sincere lake of my mystery

Like cynical silk against my naked skin

Present, profound and kindly patient

Holding me without irrelevant asks   

The same substance transforms

Into ice-cold waterfall thundering

Shocking every cell sweetly asleep

Sounds vibrating through my blood  

The same water now becomes

Gentle summer rain, warm mist

Kissing face, shoulders and chest

Like lover's breath against my neck

And now the deluge comes again

Overwhelming storm that drowns

Every limitation and every boundary

Between myself and the yet unknown

I am lake, I am waterfall, I am my river

I am ocean, I am mist, I am stormy rain

It’s all the same consciousness flowing

Through infinite ways to sense, to love

Water touching water touching water

Until there is no apparent distinction

Between what feels and what is felt

Between the kiss and what is kissed

Here in this dissolving witty moment

Where all known categories collapse

I remember what I always knew inside:

There is only this moment that matters

The deep embrace that never fully ends

The shocking zero point that never stops

The gentle insight that always reemerges  

My storm that always comes back to me

And I float here, insubstantially laughing

In the space between my raw sensations

Where my transparency was just practice

For learning how to transform my essence

Into the endless sensual touching further  

Of consciousness by its beloved shadow

Through every impossible dream of yours

Everywhere it wants to create my desires