Cocreation & Collaboration

Words are important. Not only the dictionary definition, but also the sensed and felt reality that is attached to those words. We have taken a very bad habit of using new sexy buzzwords because it's cool and trendy without actually understanding what it means and how it is interconnected to the rest of our belief system.

I have seen this so many times with so many words and in so many diverse social contexts.

I have seen 'sustainability' reports that don't even smell any environmental or social awareness inside. I have seen 'clean' energy and fuels strategies that are potentially even more destructive than our current energetic portfolio. I have seen 'open innovation' and 'transparent knowledge transfer' advertisements in completely closed-minded, isolated, and corrupted places. I have seen 'diversity & inclusion nonsense' and the 'it's for the employees' well-being bullshit' excuse.

Or organic and responsible food security plans done by business guys who have never been on a farming field and have no idea how an actual tomato plant looks like and what it needs.

Anyways, I think I can stop. I am sure it happened to everyone. Hearing someone using a word to describe something to make them sound more interesting, cool, and knowledgeable, but in reality, they have no clue what it means and how ridiculous they sound to people who actually work in those fields for years.

This is how we end up with companies where marketing people, board, and high-level management are convinced that they are the 'greenest' company in the world even when every second engineer in the company is having an existential value crisis about their authentic contribution to society.

The rates of burnout, workplace drop-off, early retirements, and drastic career changes in the community of engineers are astonishingly high.

I think it's mainly because they know for real how much of bullshit is put on top of their work to make it sound 'innovative', radically new high-tech life-changing stuff, super sustainable, and organically manufactured with a family-like work environment for the benefits of future generations.

They see the system, they know how it actually works, they smell this kind of bullshit from kilometers.

Sometimes inside one single organization, there are multiple realities that coexist that are completely incoherent together. One department thinks that the company is producing squares, and the other department sells circles to its customers. But the Board has a vision to make some triangles next year to increase profits.

Well, to be honest, they won't really make triangles because, as it turns out during the feasibility study, it would cost them too much money to make something valuable and meaningful. But they have already made the big public announcement to their investors.

Oops. What to do now?

So, in most cases, they will hire a very good 'packaging' specialist to put it in a triangular box with very good influencers for their commercials and make you believe it's a new super innovative product that will revolutionize your life.

It's confusing, inefficient, and highly irresponsible. It makes no sense.

Anyways, this is just an introduction of how much our reality can be distorted by using sexy words without actually contemplating what it means and what it truly represents for each one of us.

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One of the terms that gets under my skin the most and its meanings for different people is Co-creation. This is a new buzz sexy word that some seem to naturally integrate into their language, in their corporate strategies, and marketing campaigns.

I feel like everybody is co-creating these days, but I don't smell any true and authentic co-creation around. It's intriguing.

We now use co-creation as a synonym for collaboration, basic transactional economy, and even legal 'slavery' in our workplaces. We have changed absolutely nothing in our dysfunctional ways of doing business, but we somehow believe that if we put the label of 'co-creation' on it, it would sound more responsible, different, more coherent, or meaningful.

And this pisses me off. Like, for real.

Because I love co-creation. I honor deeply this process. For me, it's actually the closest concept to describing the energetic mechanics of something divine (whatever it means) and truly experiencing our unlimited power and love for each other. I believe it's one of the most beautiful and transforming experiences we can have collectively and individually.

Because every great power has an unknown and risky side to it, I also now know that co-creation can become one of the most devastating and traumatizing processes for entire communities of people as well.

It's important to understand both: the incredible powers and potentially very nasty dangers of co-creation. It's also important to understand the difference between collaboration and co-creation. Because both of those concepts are very different, they don't require the same level of commitment, trust, maturity, and they also don't produce the same impacts, results, and contributions to the larger society.

Most people want to co-create, but they are doing it for the wrong reasons. In this case, it will most certainly end up in a collective disaster, not in an authentic and powerful co-creation.

Or, they simply have no idea what the hell they are talking about, they just want to sound cool. And, this makes the entire process just confusing and even more difficult for everyone.

Co-creation is a very precise and sophisticated technology; it does not like the energy of confusion. If the original intentions are not completely clear and transparent between each co-creator, it creates distortions and imbalances in the entire system. This is why to be able to truly co-create, we actually do need to go through a very painful path of self-evolution and self-realization first. If a person does not yet realize the scope and nature of their true inner power, they will feed the co-creation process with confusion instead of their innate creativity and pleasure.

Also, co-creation cannot be successfully accomplished if done for egoic reasons. If you do it for your personal self-interests, the magic of co-creation will work against you and will even make you suffer at some point on the path.

If you choose co-creation as a tool to contribute to something bigger than yourself and personally grow and evolve as a human being through this process, it will make your life magically meaningful and you authentically happy and joyful.

Do you see the depth and the paradox of the co-creation concept?

The biggest potential for transformation AND the biggest risk for systemic re-traumatization.

Co-creation is the simplest in terms of mechanics, yet the most challenging process to embody in our shared reality.

We need to have clarity on our level of selfishness, ego structure, inner truth, and be able to hold our personal power while completely abandoning ourselves to the unknown and become totally selfless at the same time in the process of co-creation.

We all long for authentic co-creation because it's our natural state. This is where we feel fulfilled, healthy, joyful, inspired, and alive.

But, we also all struggle with how to get there. So, we prefer mediocre collaboration that might give us a small rush of endorphins at first, but it has truly nothing to do with the authentic pleasure and bliss of continuous oxytocin flow in our system thanks to a proper co-creation process.

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Wait. This was fast and some far-fetched connections have been made here. Is it just poetic? What hormones have to do with all of this?

Oh, I am glad you asked. You can see it poetically if you want, but you can also test it empirically in your own experience and see for yourself how 'scientific' it is.

I am sorry if it is triggering to some, but I will still be using sex metaphors to talk about the co-creation process, even in the business world during very serious meetings. Because it's the easiest way to explain to someone what the real co-creation is and help us relate it to our personal experiences in daily life.

For me, real co-creation is actually a highly sexual act. This is why I consider it divine and sacred. And also, for me, this is the only process that actually exists for real.

It's important to understand that we don't need to be naked and to have actual intercourse with our physical bodies to taste the frequency of co-creation and actually be doing it together. We can use the same sex-inspired principles and mechanisms but in all other co-creation processes: relationships, business affairs, casual meetings, artistic expressions, friendships, projects, etc.

If we use those principles wisely, we can make all of the things we do with everyone highly pleasant, joyful, meaningful, and orgasmic.

If we are bad at sex, we will most likely be very bad at the co-creation process too. If we have too much unprocessed sexuality/intimacy-related trauma, we cannot trust and feel safe enough to truly surrender to the co-creation processes as required in order to make it work its magic for real.

So, I guess, that is the beauty of this process. Because learning and practicing it can be actually very simple and fun.

One of the strategies to master this could literally be the practice of having conscious and meaningful actual acts of sex with partners/people you trust and want in your personal sexual life. Once you know how to coherently and efficiently please yourself and the other(s) in a safe and exciting way, you will most likely understand how to do it in other settings, contexts, and situations.

This is why I have an interesting belief in my system; I actually do believe the link where better you are at sex, the more successful and powerful you can become in all other aspects of your life.

So I guess, you can practice in bed to be good in the 'office'. Or you can practice in the office to be good in bed.

Same same, but different.

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Ok, I see. So, the hormones? What was that about again and how is this connected to the co-creation process and business?

It's obviously full of nuances and shades, but let's try to simplify it. What are the main hormones we know? Oxytocin, Testosterone, Epinephrine, Endorphins, Cortisol, Estrogen, Vasopressin, Prolactin, etc.

Ok, this does not actually matter that much for now, what is the most obvious and simple co-creation process you know?

Sex.

Right. So, what you could do is to observe and analyze what is the most efficient way to regulate your hormonal system based on this specific and easy co-creation process. After, you could extrapolate your findings and see how it's applied elsewhere in your reality (or not).

Let's assume the process of sex has 4 different phases.

Step 1. Intention - Anticipation - Foretaste

Step 2. Preliminary - Inspiration - Preparation

Step 3. Act

Step 4. Relaxation - Satisfaction - Integration

Each one of those stages produces a specific hormonal cocktail in your body. But, you need to see this as a chain of things and not each step as separate. For example, if you skip steps 1, 2, and 4 and you just have a quickie penetration on the kitchen table out of nowhere, your mind might be very confused about the hormonal production in your body. Because you will receive an enormous amount of adrenaline in your systems, but there is not enough dopamine and norepinephrine in you to appropriately process that much adrenaline.

So, if you want to have coherent and healthy sex, your body needs somehow to produce those hormones before the actual act.

This is actually also true when you invest your energy in steps 1 and 2, but don't follow up on step 3. When you heat someone and build on the illusion of potential sex, you make them anticipate something or even consider (even if it's unconscious), your body does not like that. This is the syndrome of blue-balls. And this is true for women too.

This is why a man or a woman can become aggressive if they don't get actual sex. Because, they have produced a lot of dopamine in their system fantasizing about you and now their nervous system needs to find a way to create some adrenaline to create a new systemic coherence. If they cannot create it through sex, they will most likely become violent. Because it's the simpler way to get a rush of adrenaline to create a hormonal balance in the body.

This is also why you should never make people believe that there is a potential to have sex with you if you have no actual intention to follow up on that with them.

The exact same thing applies to basically everything in your life. And especially to business.

The hormones are constantly playing a song in your body. You are the chief of that orchestra. If you want a coherent melody over time, you need to listen to the melody as a whole in itself and not only the steps and processes that interest you for some reason. If you play only certain notes and instruments, your song will be boring, distorted, and actually highly unhealthy and unsatisfying for you.

Everything is interconnected, and everything harmonizes itself with the whole.

If we understand how our natural hormonal cycle works in an efficient and coherent manner, we can do magic with our projects and with our businesses. Imagine if each meeting you have attended was like actual sex. There were 4 stages to make sure that all the information, energy, and things we share during that meeting are coherent with how our hormonal system works.

We would start with clearly stating our intention and anticipate everything that is needed for that meeting to happen nicely (step 1).

When we start the meeting, we don't directly jump into the act of what needs to be done here. We connect at first. We ask each other how we are feeling and how we are doing. We create an energy of trust, interdependence, and care for each other. We feel ourselves in the group and in the space (step 2).

After, we do the actual meeting. We answer to the original intention why we are here. We do what is on the agenda and what is emerging for us as a group. Here it is also important to understand, that it's not coherent when there is only one person to talk about this stage of the process. If there is only the boss who gives the instructions and does his bla bla on what's need to be done, but fails to listen to what is happening in the room and what others need right now.

Well, this is a very bad 'sex'. This is closer to what we call abuse than consensual pleasure.

When you are the only one to talk at the team meeting, no one actually cares or listens to you. You're just engaging in self-indulgence, and you're forcing others to watch and listen attentively to you for some reason. This is why after the meeting, they go to the bathroom and talk negatively about you. Since you have not given them the chance to contribute and express their adrenaline during the team meeting, they will happily channel it elsewhere, but now by being unpleasant to you and about you.

So when you invite people to a team meeting, make sure they are having as much pleasure and fun as you are being there (Step 3).

And, finally, when your meeting ends with everyone leaving while we are still in the middle of the action. Well, you already know what it means. When you don't include the fourth step of integration and relaxation, people will still do it, but elsewhere.

If you don't take the time to ask people what they thought about that meeting or how they feel or what is alive for them about it, they will most likely all go to the coffee machine right after and discuss all of this, but now without you. Or if they are really upset with you, they will go for a beer after work and discuss your meeting even further! They will process and integrate together how bad of a lover and a business-sexual partner you are.

And you will never understand why they seem always dissatisfied and unhappy with all the great work you are doing for them.

They also want to co-create something meaningful and authentic for real. Don't simply watch you please yourself by yourself. This is why they are dissatisfied, demotivated, asleep, and depressed during your boring and unskillful meetings.

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Never offer people something you cannot or don't want to deliver.

Remember this especially when you start talking about things like co-creation.